BANG

heiya. haha. todae's fdcp. shant elaborate. haix. i want to lor. but i noe i shldnt. ahah. aniewae. one word: "bang" read it in chinese and in fd lang. hahahahahaha. jia you bahz!! =)

..

heiya. well. nt in a gd mood now. in fact. or rather. tired. was feeling so slpy lar. haix. well. nvm. shal just tahan for few minutes b4 i go slp and wake up tml. haix. i realiie feeling very tired. i want to slp le. and junnow. i was reallie feeling tired or feeling bad lar. got scolded by moi parents cos of some misunderstanding. i din catch wad dey sae and i did e wrong thing. den haix. so. argh. so irritted lar. i mean nt as if it's totlly moi fault lar. den i noe if i msg **, i'll get moi needed encouragements and support and everything i desire. but i noe. i'll onli fall deeper. so. yepp. i din. haha. haix. and i cried to e meh meh. e cushion thingy maám yik ka gave me. haix. and i cried to *. haha. nt a human. den haix. and i felt o free infront of *. not cathey too. and den nvm lar. on e bus junnow. woof. so scary lar. i was going to alight. den tt person said, " byebye" den i was like. hmm. *give that look* haha. den i continue wlking off. den he said again, "oi, byebye" . and i was likë. give tt look agin lar. haha. den i walk off le. oops. haha. weird lar aiyo. haha. yar. kinda scary. den was walking home den was toking to tang over e phone. haha. hmm. jia you bahz. and. erm. "goodbye" haix. sigh. hao xin ku. :'(

oh manx. i noe i can.

oh manx. jia you ying qi. maám yik ka is sooo nice. she's bombarding me with msges. she's supporting me all e wae. she wants to help but she cant. as in. she sae she tinks e maáms nt soo happie lar. but nvm. i noe she's dere. jia you ying qi. soo many pple behind. dun let them down. die die oso must get into round b. we must. quek ying qi. u can do it. all of us can do it. u cant fall. once u fall. e whole squad will be dead. it's true. it happened b4. e other ime when i'm totally streesed out cos of fdc. e squad's standard jut flunked. but now. i'm not. on monday. i can see a better squad. the spirit must be dere. it shld never fade. nor vanish. jia you quek ying qi. u can do it. strive to excel. jia you. dun let maáms. squaddies. friends. juniors. teachers. parents. everyone down. dun. cannot let them down. we cnnot. clear?! we cannot. we must make it to round b. jia you. we can do it! we have confidence! and i dun tink i sending out msges lor. ahha. jia you. we can do it. jia you. 6 more days. we can do it one. believe in urself and u can. having e confidence wins half the battle. we can do it. 6 more days. it's 1.33pm now. 6 fdays later. we'll be having our luncj at bendemeer sec. luch will be provided. jia you. we can do it! we have confidence!! come on fdc! we can make it dere!!6 more days. jia you!! quek ying qi! u can do it! jia you fdc squad 2006. we're the best.the best.thebestthebestthebest!!!

argh

harloe. i'm feeling so pekcek for NOTHIN!! argh. i dunnoe lar. very argh!!! ahaha. nvm. relax. and haix. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haix.

school rawks my world.
red cross rulez my life.
music intensifies one's mood.

haha. hmm. i must surpass tkgrcy's fdc standard. 2 yrs le, we haven got aniething during fdc. well. i'll do my very best. just like dance for talentime. well. it's hurtful. but tink on e positive side. it has been abt more than 10 yrs that tkgs has not been getting into top 3 for dance during talentime. and we did it. we got 3rd. well. hmm. as least we surpassed it. and dis yr, for fdc. i will. we will. bring tkgs up again. bring everything up. dance is atleast up a little. den for fd. i can do it!! jia you. we must. i dun believe i cant. since dance can, why cant fd? we must. JIA YOU!!! i'm fighting stronger. i believe. it's NEVER too late. and i tink i mite not be sending out msges to e rest of commanders. cos. hmm. i dunnoe. i mean perhaps others nt so scared. cos their sch has awaes been doing well?? perhaps. but not tkgs. but i will. we will. everyone will. i can. we can. everyone can. bring tkgs in to finals. and win doreen maám's nod again. according to (i dunnoe hu) she nodded afta we did our dance. we can. we can gain her nod again. tink. act. jia you. never say die. i have confidence. i can do it. i can do it!! i have confidence!! we can do it!! we have confidence!! get her nod!! get e lost legacy!! get everyone's admiration!! get red cross youth's recognition!! chiong arh!!! 7 more daes!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WE CAN DO IT!!! WE HAVE CONFIDENCE!!! NUTHIN CAN STOP ME NOW!! I WIL FIND MY WAY!! WE WILL FIND OUR WAY TO ROUND B!! WE WILL FIGHT OUR WAY TO ROUND B!!! GO TKGRCY FDC SQUAD 2006!!! WE'VE GOT EVERYONE'S SUPPORT!! DONT LET THEM DOWN!!! JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE AL UR MISTAKES NOW!! WE'LL CORRECT THEM. ON THAT DAY ITSELF. LET IT BE THE MOST MEMORABLE FDC WE'VE EVER HAD!!! DO UR BEST!! WE'RE GONNA GET A TROPHY BACK!! I'LL GET MY FULL MARKS!! WE WILL GET OUR FULL MARKS FOR UNIFORM.'I'LL GET MY FULL MARKS FOR COMMANDER!! WE ARE GONNA SCORE HIGH HIGH IN EXECUTION!!! WE ARE GONNA DO PERFECT DRILL!!!!!!!!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!! U ALL MITE BE FEELING DOWN DOWN. BUT I'M GONNA BRING EVERYONE UP!! CLEAR?!! EVERONE! STAND UP! WE CAN DO IT!! WE HAVE CONFIDENCE!! FDC 2006! WE'RE THE BEST. THE BEST, THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST!!

thank you.

thank you. thx everyone. e comp was playing dang ni, so i was thinking of e encouragements frm ahem. den atiqah just sent me a msg. i'm too touched. i dunnoe. it made me feel no longer lonely. i'm feeling lonely for fdc. den she sent e mg. i'm really.. speechless. thanks atiqah. and i'm still crying. thx. now i noe i'm not alone. i have moi juniors my seniors. my frens. my squadmates. thank you. i love u all. thank u. thanlk you veri veri musch. i was helpless. and í really feel like breaking down. but. i wont. cos i noe. i'm nt alone. thanlyou. den i was toking to tang oso. she told me some inspirational phrases. i'm really very very grateful to all of u. thank u. i dunnoe how tp express my thanks to u all. thanks. tt's really wad i nid. thanks. thank you. thank you. thx. for understanding me. i noe i'm nt aone now. i noe no matter wad. all of u will be standing behind me. preventing me from falling. than u. that was relly wad i needed. thx. it's just simple words. simple things that one culd do. but it really helped a person under stress . it pulled her up. tankx. using heart-felt words. i noe we can do it. e heart-felt words. msges. area supporting me. i noe. thank u. thank u. i salute all of u. thank you. all dis days, u all having standing behind me. suporting me. but smtimes i ose my temper. thankz. for ur understanding. thank u. really. thank u. i've nv said out such "thank you" . it'really from the bottom of my heart. thank u. tang: as a strong person, u shld be one that stands up, accepts it. and salvage the situation. atiqa's msg: nuthin's ever easy u'll feel like giving in. but dont despair jut keep on trying. hope NEVER dies.. it lingers on for eternity. imalways there if u need me. JIA YOU 4 FDC!<< well, all dis may be simple words. but they really travelled deep down to moi hert. tang:
There's a hero In everybody's heart
Go on and trust yourself
Cause you can ride the wind
You're gonna take your dreams
Where they've never been

i noe i can. and i will. i can. i will. thanks. everything. thx. and i will. send it to everyone in fdc. it really touches one's heart. fdc. not onli a bond between unit. but one between schs. between rcy. rcy!! we can!! even just simple "jia you" can help. thank you.













thank you. i will. i can. thank you.

heart

heyheyhey. forget to sae. haha. last sun, went for junior's recce rite. den i learnt how to make heart using straw le!! yeh!! haha. and yar. juniors' recce was fun ar. i was diam istening to pau's mp3 and we were at e mrt. den everyone was strring at u. haha. but nvm lar. haha. den yeah!! i noe how to make heart le!! ahaha. hmm. who shll i give it to. haha. kiddin kiddin. yepp. =)

hehhz.

harloe. hehhz. had aop for camp todae, wanted to have for ct and jh. but no time lar. haix. sigh. bad bad bad. den aiyarh. nuthin to sae manz. infact too many things to sae. but. ahha. nvm=) jia you. and amazingly, i dun mind pple knowing hu's tt person i have a teeny weeny teen weeny liking to. haha. wanted to tell soot. but haven tel yet. haha. dun mind telling anyone. actully. haha. nvm. yar. haha. well. hmm. hmm. hmm. jia you. well. i said not to drop a tear b4 fdc 06. but with the "help" of the rest of components in life (sounds old manx.), well. hmm. it dropped. haix. AR. ARG. ARGH. wahh!! stressed!! no worries. =)

hipe

hipe. haha. i dunnoe wad "hipe" too. well. was thinking in class lar, dun really feel like continuing e blog le since i cant use e blog to blaa out my stuffs. haix. nvm. just cont to keep record of wad i did. haha. okayz. well. hmm. i dunnoe wad to sae. cant rmb aniething le. =)

harloe.

harloe. hehz. soo many things haven do. i'm feelng soo tired, manx dunnoe why, just so sudden, well, oni fdcp can cheer me up now i guess. i'm sorry juniors. hehz. i noe u al hafta study for CAs.hmm. we oso marhz, well. nvm, my fault ny fault. head hurts a teeny teeny bit. well, next time i dowan tell anieone le. hehz. and i wont msg le. hehz. its soo..argh..well. few more daes to fdc. no one noes how ** i am. no one. well. maybe e commanders do noe. but. i dunnoe larh. haix. and i dun feel like doing anything le. tml got SS ca. well. haix. and todae's lit. killed me lor. haix. i dunnoe how to..haix. i'm jus feeling. soo. i want a break lar. i want a holiday now!!! now!!! i want march hols to come faster. well. it means everything is coming nearer. but, i just want my holiday =( haix. den farewell will be soon here. hmm. gonna get presents soon. but dun wan to go shop alone lehz. eeyeh. haix. den will leave tkgrcy le. but. once a tkgrcyian , foreva a tkgrcyian. but nvm, i'm kinda excited for vip!! ahaha. see first, tink i wanna join vi. ahaha. tink so. haix. should be december intake. yepp. i wanna help my unit lor. ahaha. 1045pm. i haven record song yet. oh manx. my papa finding. dunnoe if he can find lar. eeyeh. argh!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, at e bottom of my hmm. i dunnoe lar. just argh. haven prepare uniform. everything. i'm tired lar. can i have a break. or rather not a break, but can i slack?! argh. i dun even have a day. one whole full day to rest and do nothin at all. or just do wadeva i like. heh. why like tt?! i shall go hide under pillow and rest for tt at least few seconds. b4 i.. oh shoots. i forgot e sequence. oh manx. argh. and speech dae. i haven even go find out. i really want to cry already!! ahaha. lolx. haha. ren ren ren (btw, it mean tahan in chinese, not referring to pple's name) ah. and argh. i dowan to tink already can?! well. my parents watching shows again. which means i can onli record at nite. when dey all go to slp. which is like midnite. well. nvm. ren. tahan. zuo ye. zuo wen. record song. study ss. homework. i dunnoe wad's my hmwrk. haix. cant think le lar. i want to cry le. how??!!! hmm. nvm lar. gd luc to all. i'm fine. =)

tear

yipee// haha. i declare: i'm not going to drop a tear before fdc. ahaha. well, cos smthin drastic happened todae. well. ahaha. i was calm. on e surface. ahaha. at least nt bad lor. wanted to cry manz. in class. afta recess. ahaha. but i din lar. ahaha. i'm not gonna cry before fdc. i can make it. but now, 11 more ades. well. i tink. hmm. i'm getting real scared. i've not been soo scared before. well. my heart just squirms. i tink e juniors can be more prepared. so, i must train them up more. to fulfil al e pacts i made with other commanders. like b3 commanders. and tk commander and jss commander. ahaha. haoning like so..in dire nid to hear my commanding. ahaha. soot lar. ahaha. in fact, she wants to hear al our commandings lor. ahaha. must train up more. and erm, yea, had uniform sesion wif juniors todae. good. it was good. i felt like maám xing qi , manx. ahaha. good good. but i forgot to tell them abt enrolment badge. must be at e side dere. oops. hehx. but onli miss out one point. yea!! ahaha. den meeting sec2s and 3s soon. yea!! and hmm. must get used to makin mistakes infront of ma'am sarah, cos she's here to help. so, must not feel pressurized!! haha. hmm. okie. tml shall do lotsa stuffs. jia you. learn from ms tee's efficiency oso!! ahaha. well, it's good that i'm learning. =P okie. and to pau, tang, kirs. *ahem* ahah. get it?? pure frenship. ahaha. *ahem*

juniors' recce!!

harloe!! came back from juniors' recce. haha. and todae is sunday!! quote from maám sarah: it's a family dae!! haha anieae, it's like so diff from wad we had lor. we were nice?? perhaps, but the situations were quite difficult to handle. haha. hmm. yepp. quite fun lar. den we treat thm the $5 flost. well. e things dere are real ex lor. haha. den dey treat us back ice cream!! haha. so farnie. den when walking back to PS kfc, dey were crazt, ahaha, we went to buy drinks and den dey were trying to stuff e $5 into our bags, or even onto the stretcher, cos we were nice to help them take stretcher. haha. but during the real recce, of course we din. just that, yar, it's so diff lor. oh yes. and my hp no bat,, felt soo blank without my hp. haix. nvm lar. den i ran away!! haha. waa. can feel my leg muscles stretched manx. i was like, i cant run, haha!!but nid to cont or. and so tired.haha. but they were fast enuff to catch up. good good. haha. den got pple missing, den dear syazana was stilllicking her finger. haha. she was eting chocolate lar. haha. cos dey noe it's a prm, the onli thing they thot tt it's real, which i thot so a bit. haha. was at the orchid place dere, where i fall and i sae i urt my right knee. haha. i can feel the pain manx. dunnoe why. as in. pretendious pain. haha. den we saw their "fake" attitude. so, i decided to tell pau to help me , it's nt fake ar. fdc is coming, wad to do. haha. den dey heard, and dey're real scared. ahaha. den dey wanted to cal my mama, tt was when i just jumped out of e stretcher. haha. den dey haha. their expression was soo farnie!! haha. ahahahahahha. and yar. it was fun lar. nt bad nt bad. and i noe how to make heart liaox!! yeah!! [au taught me todae. got inspired by the commanders yesterdae. haha. okie. hahaha.

Commanders' Day

haha. went out with e commanders tode. we just walked out of e sch den dunnoe where we waking, just cont walking str8, turn whenever, whereever we like. haha. den in e end realised that we walked one whole round arnd the sch, den we cont walking and eeyeh. toot lar. it's so. haix. nvm. den until last stop b4 mrt, we board e bus and yar, reached mrt, haha. went PS. haha. den went bk. and muhd was trying to do some funny thing which he din suceed lar. aiyo. den we toked alot abt fd. haha. soo fd. well, when u put 5 commanders together b4 fdc, tt's e topic. haha. den went shop. nobody initiate shop, but we just started walking. haha. den i saw tree trunk!! haha. not e figurines tho. haix. but got lotsa things abt it. haix. nvm. den we cont walking, den shane left. den we cont walking. haha. gt some funny details lar. den erm. we kept getting lost. haha. hahaha. we had a hard time getting pple back. den yar . like tt lor. den saw real horses. hah. promoting for igallop. it's sick lor. haha. nvm. den we lost muhd. so we just walked. hoping to see him. den found out that he going home le. so, erm. yar. we went this place. erm, air conditioned. and it's smthin like an indoor hawker centre.haha. den i went to buy drink n haoning went to buy tt yoghurt thingy. wanted to buy bt too ex lar. haha. but actually nt really lar. haha. den we started toking abt our units, ulp. and sch. and rc. and we gonna join vip. e dec intake. haha. scared scared. hehx. and den erm. yar, we lwft when i realised it 6.59pm!!! i nid to go home lor. haix. haha. i told my mama i going hoime soon afta lunch. oops. hehx. haha. den we tokn tok n tok until city hall. when our train comes and nid to go separately le. haha. den me n haoning were toking, and she's crazy!!! haha.. she asked us to command. haha. den soot tell her abt my commanding. walau. pressurize me onli. haha. hahaa..den yar, we noe more things todae. and for fdc briefing. haah. saw alot of ex-maáms and saw maám clara n maám jie man in vi shirt!! haha. gd gd gd. den for balloting, i took e last ine =) and it saes 21. i thot it was quite back or smthin like tt, but i turned out to be the first schol for east district. haha. nvm, which means we'll set e standard for east district. cool. and erm. yar. but luckily, east district not the first sch to go lar. haha. east district is the 3rd district to go. haha. so, we're the 1st one for 3rd batch. haha. nvm. jia you. haoning wants commanders gathering. i dun mind lar. haha. den can hear everyone's commanding!! haha. okie. tt's all. quite fun but as all of us were tired, sleepy, quite boring lar. haha.

hehx

hehx. my slackest dae of sec4. my attitude lar. and i was starting to get angry. haha, yea. angry. haha. but in e end not lar. well. hmm. den it's soo..haix. and todae full-u trng. haha. and everyone's uniform like..erm. i dunnoe wad to sae. the front part of trng i was rather. erm. sick. haix. feeling kinda giddy. hehx. haix. and haix. nvm lar. and juniors got 97 mistakes. hmm. i going to do 388 pushups for their mistakes lor. haha. dun wry. i can take it one. haha. at one go!! haha!! den videos. wahh. nvm lar, it's over. but i really beri slpy, slept less den 1 hr last nite, den late for sch. mama scold. papa scold. haix. squaddies like tt. i was like kinda..hmm. not sae angry lar. seldom get angry in sec4!! yeah!! haha. haix. well. hmm. scare scare. i really beri. hmm. i dunnoe wad to sae lar. mm. tml got recce =X and fdc briefing. hehz. sundae got recce oso. well. mama scold somemore. papa gonna scold smmore. haix. but. "nothin can stop me now. no matter wad dey sae. you shi hou shou shang you ren xin teng ku le you ren an wei, xian zai yu dao kun nan zi ji jiu yao xue hui mian dui. i will find my way, i want a diff way...." haha.

heyz

harloe. 37.1degrees. before a high fever, e temp will be arnd 37.1 or 37.2degrees. oh manx. i want to fall sick. haha. i dun mind, but not now pls. still have trainging on fri. haha. e other time was telling pau that i dun mind falling sick cos can take mc and do stuffs at home. haha. so "guai" rite. hehz. anywae, well. dun tink my body will go against me and fall sick now. haha. aniewae, yeah, todae had fdcp. well. i tink i'm such a total failure manx. oh crap larh, hmm. well. i seem to live in utopia (haha. social studies.) especially when maám sarah is arnd. i take my hat off her. i salute her. her teaching is real good. den maám qiutong. her commanding is far too pro. both execution is..i have nothin to sae. haha. dey are just superb fdic. and the past yrs' fdics. well. i aspire to be like them. wonderful manx. haha. dun wry. i can do it! i have confidence! haha. wel, farewell is reaching. pressure is addin on. everything seems to be going VERY slowly. everyone seems to be pissed with one another. well. we will go thru everything, conquer them all. footdrill comp. 2006, we're the best the best, e best e best e best!! permission to drink, maám! haha..should be coming up with new one soon. haha. yay!! i love my squad!! and todae got emergency exercise. well. hmm. quite luan but better den wad i expected. haha. den i din bring shirt. haix. so borrowed from BUSH!! haha..bushba..hahahaha!! den it was quite wet. quite big. haha. but e gd thin is that i have the shirt!! YAY!! haha. den jia en dey all took video todae. haix. feel so uncomfy lar. so i was basically siamming e video. sorrie. hehz. and our video. well. hmm. haha. aniewae, i was quite anry todae =( cos fridae got full-u trainging den everyone was complaining and complaining and complaining non-stop. can i dun wear dis n that?? i dun wear canz? i dun wadev can anotz? oh crap lar. can i ask a simple qn. do u al even love ur uniform. well, guess most answers will be no rite. haix. i mean i dun see why lar, true, maybe the preparation of uniform is fiddicult or wadeva, but u shd take pleasure in it. if u really cannot, u shld at least take pride in ur uniform, take pride in wearing it, since u prepared soo much for it. sec1s are excited tt they're getting their uniforms soon. someone sae she takes pride when she was JUST TRYING ON the uniform. dey are sec1s. den look at sec4s. al e qn asked to me. can i dun wear dis? can i dun wadeva lar. haha. sec4 oni angry twice and both cos of the things i'm i/c of!! haha. cool. fd and uniform. oh manx. being a qm is soo not easy. i dunnoe. maybe cos i v slack lar. well. i'm soo gonna buck up and be like maám xing qi. yes. jia you. haha. and i haven study for hist ca tml. haix. i forgot dere was a test tml lar. haha. haix. and hist arh, e teacher. well, e wordiest notes i've ever seen in my whole life time. imagine. font size abt 8. whole page. no spacing at all. i mean seeing a set of notes like that, with every pages like this. may i ask who have e interest to read?! oh well. and i'm soo not in e mood to study. with my head feeling so heavy and e notes doesnt interest me. haha. well, stil have to rite. just pray hard that tml wont get fever, if can survive tml with no fever, i'm safe den. haha. wont get fever. and btw, sec 4s arh. start of march horh, everyone can eat in rcr le. anyfood, BUT on e account that u l clear up e room by..next week. if not, canot eat in rcr. haha. pack up rcr and afta u eat, dun throw wrappers in rcr, still have to go out to throw. heex. i'll go push the dustbin to infront rcr. haha. it's illegal but hu cares. dey arent gonna sue us for that lor. so mafan now. must walk all the wae dere. haha. haha. dis sat. eeyeh. not in e mood to go lor. den haha. dey mite be amaxed by our pitch of voice. haha. all our voice all so low one. but hopefullt my voice come back by this week. i dun care. dun wry. it will. it'll help me and not add to my troubles =D wah, yingqi, still got soo many things to do, u betta go plan hor. haha. i toking to mysef. hmm. i need support. haix. den arh, all schs. eeyeh. so walau. we're nice enuff to reinvite u all lar, still no reply. fine lar. argh. not nice enuff isit?! argh. guess by dis week no reply den we really take it as u al not coming. haix. unless some schs got sae dey tell us wad time den tt one is ok, but not ignoring us. dun dey noe it's rude. haha. nvm lar. more or less noe each other, so we dun mind one. haha. golden word: prioritize. pls. thx. haha.

chao da

chao da!! haha. yeah!! i'm kinda happie tt i'm chao da..haha. at least it's like. it's worth it!! it's worth it!! haha. the essense is back. haha. we can make a difference. we can. haha.

FDC!!!

wonderful..fdcp was superb todae!! e lost spirit since 2003 is back rite here again!!! oh my!! cos of maám sarah!! she's wonderful. i dunnoe. she's just..her teaching is fantastic!!! wow. wonderful manx. best practice dis yr. hahah. and got 2 "spies" hahah..dey were waiting for sis n daughter, bt keep standing out dere, looking at us. haha. scare me. at first i thot it's tt hu tt come with out telling me. haha. and e passage that push up e air in diagphragm is blocked. so voice is like walau. horsey voice. den cannot use diagphrgm todae. tried and i went out of tune!!! oh manx. haha. den had to use voisce. and u noe how pain it is. haha. hahaha. well, nice prac. and yepp. heex. =D

jia you

to my dear squaddies:

wad ever it may happen
how ever things could change
i'll still be here
foreva
need help??
shoot
i'm here
alwaes =)

haha..proposal period. comb trng. camp. campfire. juniors'. 30 wk plan. all comp. new VI. accreds. everything. etc.etc.etc. haha. i'l alwaes be here =) give me work to do!! haha!! "hanging tough" haha..hang on peeps!!

argh

haha.

my heart

I wish so very much that one day we can have it all back
but for now
I jus sit in silence
remembering all the memories we once shared
my love grows stronger
together with the hope that one day
You’ll be back

well, it's an extract that i edited. tt's wad i'm doing now. shed beautiful tears. everyone left. it's 12.59am now. saw some pics n it reads some of our hearts. i guess onli u can make me smile from my heart. yet onli u can make me cry from my heart.

doing things. bitten by ades mowquito. i tink. i wont fall sick easily i hope. "i will find my way, i want a different way. nothing can stop me now. no matter wad dey sae." well, that's my mentality for fdc 2006. nothin can stop me now. well, u all can dun have faith in my juniors or dun have faith in us. bt, i'll jia you. i have faith in them. just scared for myself. i want a diff way, every yr, we din get into finals. dis yr, i want to make a diff, just like dance. tho it wasnt wad i want, at least, it's near. and dance, e feeling is still dere. and for everything, e feeling is still dere. i'm sorry bt have to sae tt i haven forgotten my crush.

smtimes. i really cant breathe. my heartbeat just stops and i wheezed. i just cant breathe normally. things i'm doing, hoping to get u out, but, u just rooted urself in my heart. u found fertilised soil n grew. things to care abt but i'm just leaving it alone.

got a sore throat, well, u use ur diaphragm, nt ur throat to command. but i'm still eating. i cant. feeling..i dunnoe. bt i noe i wont feel dis wae few wks ago. wad had caused e drastic change. i want to noe. wad happen. have u gotten urself.. reading "deep" smtimes. it just let e memories invade my brain. well. when i've things up on my hands, i hide under my pillow or blanket and think. "i haf faith in u" it still brings me thru. well. i'm just hoping u're not reading my blog i told u once i tink. hope u forgets it and leave dis place alone. well. it's tiring. very. it's painful. it's hurting. it's smthin that i cant describe. well, the night just makes me. sentimental?? maybe. i dunnoe.

choc chip biscuit. had a small discussion with pau just now. choc chips r nice, tt's why pple tend to choose to eat choc chips onli. but. u cant pick all of them out, e whole biscuit will just break apart. so. we still have to eat the bitter biscuit. so. learn to enjoy bitter biscuit den.

and i want to rant about myself. i feel so so so so so useless. 30 wk plan late. den all dose things we discussed n typing, i oso haven complete all. and my sch work. gd thing not much things to do. and e performance i oso din help soot except for tt tiny bit of 30 wk plan. it's nothin larh. den now not already, haven even get e stuffs for my new job. i seriously dunnoe how to get. and some din reply. wad to do. some invite already not coming. walau. we're nice enuff t invite u l larh. haha. nvm. den we'll have lesser pple and a more bonding campfire. XP haha. it's 1.31am. i dowan to do le.actually i still want. i want to slp n think abt my own stuffs. think about. and sort out my mind. how i shld face all. and i want my memories to invade me. i want my mind to read e reason for e drastic change. and nothin else. and i still keep to my decision. not to XXX again.

sori

oh pls, stop it larh. i mean, walau. i shal go tt decision. yeah. i swear manz. oh gr8. never. yea. stupid X. anyway, yea. todae went wif kirs to accompany pple to test n wkshops. well lot den late. den me n kirs did sooo much things todae. haha. and we were laughing thruout. haha. n me n kirs, once we start laughing is kinda ever-lasting. haha. and yeah. met with pau n ais later, den go home. den juniors arh, do wad total defence poster and meet at toa payoh at 9pm. oh manz. it's like so late. and tt will NEVER happen in our squad lorh. haix. you mo pi, thx. haha. it was gr8 laughing. den go home, do stuffs. i haven even finish larh. and me n kirs blaa-ing now. bye.

action!

oh manx. busy busy busy. ooh, we just changed our vi todae, cos maám qiutoing needs to study le..mm, and wah, maám sarah really gave me e feeling of: i'm leading e unit and nothin can go wrong. get this clear." haha. i like tt. so, now, it's gr8 cos we have tings to do, and i like to do work =) and todae, i dowan tok liaox. feel so tired to tok abt it le. gr8, and i just sat 'here' for more than 2 hour not doing my own work..haha..bt i'm useful larh, all discussing bt rc and helping others well. it's nice =P hahax. yea. and now, it's 1140pm, high time i shld start on my own work. hahax. started using e comp at 9+pm. oh god. haha. and cathey just ran out, and i just got her back. hahax. oh manx. ah..waa..nvm..and i'm using work to************.haha. haix. stupid me. why cant me just, argh. stupid me. and if u any of u wants to sae hq maáms n sirs, can u al PLEASE put a sir or maám infornt or behind names?? pls. okie, if u all really dowan, den ok. i'll just tahan with it. bt i just cant. haha. yeah. haha. dun wry abt tt larh, den hmm. i dunnoe wad to sae liaox. hasnt been clping well and tonite needa work for rc, as usual. haha. well. i really feel the pressure now, cos maám sarah's here. haha. i mean she vi now, whick mean fdc, i..haix. i dunnoe wad to sae. i..haix..i forgot to call back sarah..haha..shall call tm. hmm. she's e onli one i can tok to now. or even cry to now. hmm. okie. bye.

you. i give up.

harloo!! hahax..heyz..comment on dis:

knowing tt u've thrown me away,
i held on.
to an atom of hope
tt u'll pick me up again
some time
someday
some pieces of my heart.

hahax..so, how was it. it's part of a poem. i found it. heex. bt i'm nt gonna sae where it came from. hahax. well. hmm. i give up. you. get it? yea. cos. hmm. yepp. i give up. bt. hmm. =) byebye!!

oh manx

oh manz. SHOO! shoo shoo shoo shoo shoo shoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOO~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh crap larh, sheesh. stop it. wd r u refering to?! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUS WAD IS IT!!!! OH CRAP. RELAX. FORGET IT, YINGQI! FOR GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ='( crpa larhz, when was tt?! oh pls manz. OH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okie!!

yeah!! i GUESS i succeed larhz!! heex..hahax..walking home todae den i reflected on wad happen between **********..hahax. den yearh, face it, and i think it helps greatly, i mean, erm, jus face it, den now i'm nt so..erm..hahax, i more of carefree now?? yepp, guess so..hhax..cool!! hahax..yeah..heex..well, was thinking of lotsa stuffs jus now kkz! and yarh, noe wad, cant forget tt look. hahax..so..wah!! hahax..heh, dun wry, nt my crush larh, and i dun have a crush. heex. ex-crush u shld sae. heh. hahax. den yarh, i was thinking thinking den yarh, thot of tt look, i dunnoe how to sae larh. hahax.. it's memorable tho, if nt why i rmb rite. hahax. anyway!! i gt my 20th 3-pointer todae!!!! yeah!! and one set of HORSE!!! hahax.. yesh!! yeah!! and 3-pointer: aim high, HORSE: aim low.. hahax..it works on soot onli. i guess.hahax..and went home with soot todae, den we keep laughing at nuthin, for nuthin. hahax..hahahahaha..and u see arh, for dance, me n kirs "you mo PI" hahax, den for bball, me n soot gt more i dunnoe wad. den for thots, thinking, will be tang n me!! hahax, cos we really share things together, jus found it amusing, me n tang horh, in sch dun meet tt often bt we can understand each other. yepp. hahax..and oh yesh!! i cant dang soot's throw todae, all her throw dunnoe why, attack frm below, den first hit, kanna my nose!!!! hahax.. hahaha..den 2nd hit is elbow..hahax..and we played with khim!! hahax.. she's pro larh, dun relly noe her, bt noe her thru bball one..hahax.. i sound craxy over bball. and yeah, we learnt 4-coorners'pass tt dae liaox. nt bad larh, quite nice..hahax.. and hmm..yepp..da rest of da things tt happen, i too laxy to tok liaox. hahax. yeppie. bye!!

wad?!

harloe. i'm feeling so..argh!!! i dunnoe larh, so argh!! hahax. i dunnoe wad's going on tho. jus feel like hmm, i want to have a deep deep sleep..so, at leaast when i'm slping, i think abt nuthin. i dun go on thinking abt anything..i mean yarh.." hope i dun regret it OR i wont again" i really dunnoe which one shd i choose, bt, i guess..hmm..should be da first one bt hang on loosely, hahax. den more..carefree?? yea. guess so. and pau arh..haix..hahax..valentine's coming..hahax..hmm..eh..ooh, gonna send msges to everyone i guess..bt my msg explode liaox..hahax..bt nvm larh, since our squad arhz, onli a few will have msges overflowing during valentine's dae..hahax..infact, u can sae onli 1..hahax..oops..heex..oh yes, fdc briefing 1230pm at ang mo kio sec sch. ending latest at 2pm. well, fdc..hmm..cg..i dunnoe how to appraoach u, i mean all i'm hoping is tt da info is wrong den u'll going..argh. i mean..hmm..i dunnoe how to sae, we tok abt fdc, and we're all so looking forward to fdc and den..i noe ur feeling..i mean all fd-lovers feel da saem, well, to da rest of u, hahax, i do appreciate all ur kindness and encouragements, bt, well, erm, only fd-lovers' words can touched my heart, jus like sarah. hahax. gr8 talk we had larh. and still gt wad, eh. ooh, todae, kinda inefficient larh, me. so, walau. nvm, and i'm feeling anti-social todae, so rude to pple, heh. sorrie. and recce on 18feb, fdc briefing on 18 feb. haix. i want to go recce lehz. depends on da time first lorh. see first. =( =( =( =( =( and for our campfire, pple we noe are all nt comming, dey asking juniors to come, oh manx, i mean we invite them cos we noe pple dere. bt we dunnoe their juniors lehz. hmm, maybe it can do our juniors gd larh, bt i mean, gt use mehz. hmm. and i jus..da propo jus doesnt seem to be able to send it to blaa mail. and juniors haven send me nomial roll lehz, how i change lehz. heh. wad if dey misunderstood me?? oh crap larh, i mean, me very diff to understand one larh. heh. i'm going crazy manx. shen arh, jiu jiu wo bah. hahax..crazy me..haix..other den argh/sigh, i dunnoe wad to sae. kkz arh, needea send out fdc briefing details le, byebye..and i needa send to cg? i'm scared. i dunnoe how to approach her, i mean if i'm her, wad will happen. it almost happen to me, and pls dun come to me and tell me ***************. oh crap manx. nvm, i appreciate it tho. yepp. hahax.. off to msg, byebye ='(

heys

heys..todae 1st trng with sec1s..yip..ikinda lazy to tok abt it..hahax..i was kinda slack todae, i was shirking my responsibility off..hahax..bt in e end , still gt do larh..den we ate yu sheng..hahax..cool.. den had bball. walau, so dead, and me n soot, both reach 14th one liaox..yeah. tml going hq and haf videos thingy..heh..and gt scolded by mrs guna todae..heh..wanted to cry lorh, cos it's kinda..hmm, i dunnoe larh, bt duh i din, den went to juniors, hmm..hahax..i was still smiling to them. heex..recently, jus learnt to hide ur emotions betta..hahax..and needa copy sm stuffs liaox. i cant afford to forget manx. it's like..waa. i'll slaughter myself if i ever forgets, and smthin sotong happen to me todae!! hahax..so sotong larh. den hmm, i still rmbing tt thing, bye. incase i forgets. byebye!!

oh manz.

all dis are crazy..haix..bt..hmm..it's okayz larh, well, everything's up on hand now..and yarh, everything jus dampen my spirit wen i had already lost my hyperness ever since ahem..yarh..haix..guess da oni thing tt can spark me up is fdc. i thot it'll be my gr8est worry or wad, and kinda die wen face it, bt it's totally opp..well, to all fdics, haf faith in ur squad..in ur juniors. dey can do it! so can u!! mus haf faith!!! my mentality to keep myself sparked up : trust them. have 100% trust, faith in them! yesh..hahax..haix..hmm..i'm scared for everything, my studies, rc, fdc, and wadsoeva..everything..and ooh, went pulau semakau todae. kinda fun larh..okayz larh, it's alright..bt da scenery is like super nice..and hahax..saw lotsa things and even feeling like i still on boat..hahax..den all of us became vampires..hahax..yarh, jus came back frm buying yu sheng..hahax..tml will be da first trng with sec1s!! and mrs yong sae..hahax..surprise!!! heex..it's mentioned above larhz..hahax..and haix..i'm feeling so..i dunnoe larh..hmm..sigh..haix..i dunoe wad to sae other den tt lorh..hmm..byebye larhz. =(

heeex

sorrie..too lazy..hahax..anyway, jus reminded of smthin..my malaysia trip, i broke smthin, nt really break bt it came out cos da hook broke or smthin like tt, it's moi tt hp thingy, tt bear, it's symbolic of sm stuffs, den it came out, and my mood went thrashing down. serious. it's was such a gr8 dip. den yarh, i was kinda sad thruout cos of tt, den erm, i tried to fix it..as in, yarh, with out pliers n things like tt, i was jus yarh, fixing larh, hoping tt it work or smthin like tt, den erm..it din, and i din even realise, becos of fixing tt thing, i actually cut myself, i din noe larh, till it came in contact w water..hahax..yarh, i was like..hmm.i dunnoe how to sae, bt it's jus, i'm amazed by myself, i actually..yarh,hahax..becos of tt symbolic thing, i even cut myelf, jus to fix it. den yarh, i get a clearer picture of the significance lez. hmm. i've smthin else at home symbolic of erm..abt da same thing too..hope i dun break tt one..hahax..haix..jia you. and yeah..din really think so much abt it liaox..hahax..gd gd =P =) heex..okie..byebye!!

heiya

it's 12.58am now..and online..left with me, fil n pau, all slogging for rc..hahax..slogging..hahax..and hmwkS all nt done..oh manz..it's painful to see ur squadmate working till lik tt den we cant help, infact, we dunnoe how to help. yepp. it's painful. well, i jus hfta sae, pau n fil, u 2 r gr8 manx. hahax..jia you..and yarh..hmm..so many things to do recently..walau..busy busy busy...oh manz..and yeah!! da time now..1.02am..pau finished da thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but we have mre coming up, and all haven finish hmwrk yet..bleah =X..oh no..hahax..hahax..it's da 3 again!!!!!!!! hahax..dun blog lez. byebye!!

me scared

heyarh..hmm..i started my dae with meeting a pervert. walau. so suei..haix..i went up bus den dis middle-aged man folowed behind me, den i was da first few to get on bus, which means dere's thousands of seats available, bt tt man sat beside me den i was like, aiyarh..nvm larh.. =X cant possibly ask me to move away once he sits down rite..i mean if he's jus a normal man, it's very rude, so i sat, den i thot he was kinda horizontally challenged, so he jus takes up more space tts all, so he was kinda taking more den 3/4 of da space den me left..so squeezy..den i shift in, cos i thot he's jus..cant fit into da seat tt's all, bt when i shift in, he shifted in smmore, squeexe in smmore. i was like walau..bt i thot nvm, so i cont sitting, den yarh, smthin's wrong, yepp, i dunnoe bt i jus noe tt smthin's wrong liaox once da bus starts moving..den i dunnoe larhz, he erm, i dunnoe how to sae lehz..erm..i jus sense it..hahax..gal's 6th sense u see..heex..den he was just trying to squueze in larh, den frm 1st stop to 2nd stop, i dunnoe wad happen to him, den he started breathing in n out noisily, hastly, and very fast, den he moves his hand to da handrail and hos arm was getting closer to me, den i shifted my amaths bk to "protect"myself. den he kinda shifted back to his position, bt he was still panting i shd sae..den i knew seriously smthin was wrong duh. cos he was moving n moving, den his legs were opening for i dunnoe why. den yarh, he was moving abt, i was like thinking: "oh manz, wad is he trying to do" den reached da 2nd stop, i gt up n leave da seat. think he noe or smthin like tt, den he gt down da next stop. hmm..tt's abt it..scary rite, dun wry, i din scream, nor am i taken advantaged =) so, yepp..haix..it's..scary tho..mm..haix..and now, i dunnoe, bt gt phobia arhz, hueva tt comes near me now..hahax..bt i'm fine =P yepp..den like tt lorh..oh yesh, during hcl, i walked into da wrong classroom..hahax..so crap rite, den it's mdm adela chee larh, hahax..lucky i was fast enuff..blur me..den tok to juniors, and had my fdcp, well, hmm wad can i sae?? 4 came..erm..tml ending at 4pm cos on fri dey gt ca, dun wry, i understand. den fri juniors coming in!!! den we discussed abt some rc stuffs and walau, real busy manz..bt, relax pple, relax..heex..den yarh..stop saeing liaox..byebye!!