heiya. time now: 2.30am. few hrs later i'll be going sch for camp prep. i dunnoe but i jus doesnt want to slp. hmm. i'm ='(. reading e past few posts den saw how we prepare for talentime dance. fdc06. i dunnoe but this 2 things are nv gona get awae from moi heart. it's like e process. dance. we practised soo hard. we met soo much troubles. e song nt completed. gave up trad dance. wanted to kick out jnrs. nt getting support from squaddies. dnce pple nt involved in it. no full strength practices. e bruises. they're still on moi knees. e ankle ones nt so obvious le. and sec1 fdc injury is stil on moi ankle. bruises. all our hardwork. i miss all dose practices. and went for dance. cant stand e stage settings. did some mistakes. danced. and when over, things feels realie over. e dance. i noe it's a 10 yr history but. we practised soo hard. we get scoldings from parents, teachers asking us to focus on studies. some heck-carish attitudes. but. in e end, 3rd. tt's all we get. but. it's over. looking at e void deck. looking at this time now, looking at e living room, thinking of how i stayed up to plan dance. looking at e school. void deck. classrooms. how we danced in dere. and till now, some pple noe us le. 1 sec2 gal came up to me and said. u're e one dancing last time rite. bring me to life. i was amazed bahz. den fdc. nt long ago, we practised almost everyday, how i break down, worrying abt fdc. once upset with moi squad. when it's like geting nearer to e comp date, how pressurized i am. when e squad cant fhave full strength practices. when our unit short of manpower, when others are fghting nd instead of standing wif me, getting pple awae from moi squad. i felt so lonely. i mean. e heats one. i dunnoe. i noe atiqah wants me to haf full oso. den but some wants moi squad pple. i noe i wasnt alone. e whole squad's standing behind me. and i have to ttake e lead. it's like i'm fighting for moi squad. e pressure was reallie gr8. i insisted all e wae. no room for improvement. and i gt moi full squad. yepp. woof. den went for practice. how i finished my food first, how i did things fater den normal just to get to moi practice. even me myself was amazed. den how i strained my voiec e dae b4. how i din finish e prc with keluar baris. how e last prac ended. how e nx dae when everything was in me. when i noe i have to stand. when e answer to everything is " ask ying qi". when "ying qi" is heard every second. how we rushed there. how we stood there. how scared i was stnding at e gate of bendemeer sec. how afrid i was to take e lead. how frightened i was facing every school at bendemeer sec. how everything seems so..raw to us. and we were brainstorming and thinking of everything. and everything. how we bring up e morale. how e raffia string. how we went for UI. how everything goes. how pressurized i was by shane's commanding. how frightened i was when doreen maám talks to me. how hard i was trying to memorize e commands. how we stepped on to the parade grd. how we fall in. how i hold up e paper. with my shivering hands. how i culdnt see e paper properly. how i had to hide my shivery hands. how i had to overpower e resta commandings. how my squad have to follow and focus oni in my commanding. how they execute their drills. how i did my mistake. how we finish off first. how we get awae. how we in hall. how we waiting for results. how i went up. how dey cheered. how. how. how lost i was when i noe we got in round b. how frightened i was when i saw "A". how freaked out i was when hadi sir said if i dun get my squad back in 2 minutes time, we'll get disqualified. how shane n hao helped me. how dey pulled me thru. how we did round b. how many thousands mistakes i made in round b. a few steps. i JUST have to march a FEW steps onli a few marching steps. oni if i move my legs. how we finish round b. how we ate shrooms. how chanel, yuliang, haoning, priscilla came. how we drink. how we chatted. how everything happened. how i salute during rc song. how we heard we were in top 3. how when i went up. how everything happened. how we bersurai jump. how we cheered. how our spirits soar. i saw them all. my memories. that's for red cross. den for erm... i dunnoe. i'm at a loss. giving up. my decision i guess. dun tink it'e positive one. i dunnoe. i'm alwaes putting myself off with e negative guesses. and yar. why isit like that?? i dunnoe. hmm. well, dun tink i caring bahx. i dunnoe i dunnoe. just like tt lor. wad can i do rite. den must jia you for studies bahx. jia you!! and yar. haix. it's diff to put down e past, gimme some time. and taking on e new challenges ahead. i've failed in doing so. but i wont give up. 1 month minus 1 day to farewell. less den a month. i can finish my job. all accreds. QMs badges. i swear nt to leave unsettle stuffs to my successor. regradless in fd or QM. and i'm gona have a bklet and den jot down all e "how to do" stuffs. haix. pull up e standard. we must kkz. jia you bahx. it's 3.00am. tml nida wake up at 8am. gona slp le bahx. headache le. and i want to gain weight asap. too skinny le. everyone's telling me that. smone tell me how to get fatter??? haha. well i guess that was e first "haha" i said in dis post. well. camp. farewell. i want to get e ranks. and now pau n fil, u all noe how mafan to do QM's job?! hahaha. jia you bahx. all my jnrs shall pass their accreds!! =) jia you bahx. "goodbye."